will you walk away,

now that i told you the truth.

will you walk away,

simply because the truth spoken hurts?

truth was told,

because you ask for it,

because you are someone i cheerish,

someone that i didn’t want to lie to.

will you walk away,

now that you know the truth?

 

image credit to : http://zannee.blogspot.com/

mentally exhausted, writer’s block, totally unmotivated, in dire need of inspiration and above all,homesick.

perhaps, i’ve reach a point in my life (for now) where i totally feel unmotivated and doesn’t feel like doing anything (which i know it’s a bad thing but i can’t help it!)

or perhaps, i played to hard for the last few days; went for a glimpse of night life for like twice in a week? and going again this friday right after communication night? maybe that’s the reason?

i don’t have a slight idea why am i feeling this way. it almost feel like the things i’m doing right now is pretty useless. too much obligations to begin with and it’s suffocating; writing too me,shouldn’t be something that was bound and obliged by so many unseen things!

too much pressure to perform well coming in; yea, perhaps i was expecting myself to have a good performance in everything i do.what to prove, i don’t know. maybe coz of my kiasi and kiasi syndromme (wtf!) it’s killing me and im dragging my group members as well.someone give me a wake up slap please?

ended up with ‘lazy song’ by bruno mars crossing my mind every now and then, with sleepiness and tiredness haunting me almost every second every minutes every hour and everyday. =/ with sinful eating habits, and again, i lost control of myself. yea, hormones imbalance and period coming soon. =__________=

exam timetable sent me a heart attack, 2 core papers and 1 major papers in 3 continuous day. tell me how to survive it?

 

it’s monday, yet i’m praying hard for friday.

A date with Ciara today at Queensbay Mall. and without anyone of us realising it,we actually spend the whole day there. =.=”

went to watch ‘Black Swan’ and i would say it’s a good one.but,an advise,never ever watch that movie alone and in night time.trust me,watching “Black Swan” is like watching a horror movie,well minus the fact that you have no ghost element in it.but just human alone is more than enough to make you cover your eyes halfway through the scene and freak you out with the effect lasting throughout the days.jeez.but it’s a movie worth watching. =)

and we get ourselves some stuff from forever 21. =) accessories and scarf.i bought quite a lot of scarf but i rarely wear them and i have no idea why i’m so into scarf.sigh.oh, and a pair of earing for me and another 2 pair for yan qi and yuen shin as their birthday prezzie =D i even bought birthday cards and i have no idea how on earth i actually did that.perhaps i go haywire again but somehow,this year,i feel like giving them one. =D

here i am,sitting at my study table,copying down all the posts that i posted at a notebook.i just realised that i have actually own 3 blogs-2 from the past and have more than 120 posts. how long it took me to copy it all,i have no idea but well,i guess i still like the touch of paper after all.

or maybe,i just wanted to make sure all my thoughts will not disappeared,ah well,we won’t know what happened in the future right?and they said information on papers like books last more than in digital form.and who knows there’s people actually reading my diaries in the next few hundred years to come. =)

Life doesn’t provide you a point of turning back for certain thing in life.

and it’s okay if you needed time to let go of things

for instead of dwelling in the past

just get over it and move on with your life.

 Boy : all i just want to say is ..i'll wait for u for the rest of my life no matter what happen...i'll just wait for u..i promise...

Girl : we'll see. =) since we'll never know what will happen in the future.

Boy : all i can say is my heart won't change !! i'll wait 4 u 4ever !! i will n yes i will ..

if i were that girl,i’ll just smile and said nothing esle. there’s no gurantee that things will goes as said;reality is a much rocky and bumpy road and there’s no knowing of what will happen tomorrow. life ain’t a fairy tale.

 still,i wonder,will that boy actually hold on to his words? ah,i doubt he will. =) certain things in life are just too good to be true. it’s better to keep your feet on the ground rather than wishing for something impossible.

From This Moment……

It might be an old song,but  it just never fail to capture my heart.and never fail to sing out a person’s heart when two slowly become one.timeless song like this one just have their very own magic huh?

From This Moment by Shania Twain

(I do swear that I'll always be there. I'd give anything
and everything and I will always care. Through weakness
and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse,
I will love you with every beat of my heart.)

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

 

“I juz duno where or how to start to say this but i'm going to say it.”

a simple message reveal everything.things that are not meant to be,things that will never be,an end to all the doubts and uncertainty and, things that one wished for but it will always remain as a dream.

you said you fall for me,so why are you not persistent enough?

you said you fall for me,so why you walk away?

i stay cool, there’s a lot about me that you are not aware of.

i stay cool, there’s meaning behind my every smile, my every silence.

 

“To tell the true…………..”

a simple message that explain everything.the truth behind every silence and smile,the truth behind every actions and the pain behind every smile.this message brings along doubt and uncertainties; the boundary between what should and should not be done is getting blurred.

so tell me,what should i do now?

so tell me,how should i untangle the knot?

and tell me,that i’ve not forgotten how to cry for myself anymore.

 

this heart has been broken far too many times but no one knows.

Pray

i don't know why.for some reasons,this song keep on playing itself again and again in my mind.aside from that,this song itself was a love in the first sight....oopppss,should be first hear? for me.



Credits to www.disneydreaming.com

Ohh Ohh Ohh .. and I pray
I just cant sleep tonight.
Knowing that things aint right.
Its in the papers, its on the tv, its everywhere that I go.
Children are crying.
Soldiers are dying
Some people don't have a home
But I know there's sunshine behind that rain
I know there's good times behind that pain, hey
Can you tell me how I can make a change
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray

I lose my appetite, knowing kids starve tonight.
And when I sit up, cause my dinner is still on my plate.
Ooo I got a vision, to make a difference.
And its starting today.

Cause I know there's sunshine behind that rain
I know there's good times behind that pain, hey
Haven`t tell me how I can make a change
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day

I close my eyes and pray
For the broken-hearted.
I pray for the life not started
I pray for all the ones not breathing.
I pray for all the souls in need.
I pray. Can you give em one today.
I just cant sleep tonight
Can someone tell how to make a change?

I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and I pray

I pray ..

I close my eyes and pray ..


all the world need is a little love from everyone to the unfortunate one.


credits to www.olpglobalkids.org



credits for rikijo.blogspot.com



credits for www.popsci.com


less war,
less greed,
more love
and more care,
the world will be just a better place. =)

for people out there who have a place call home,get 3 meals a day or maybe more than that,has warm cozy blanket in the cold night,you guys opt to start to feel bless and be grateful about it.prove it with actions;simple little things are more than enough to show that you care and you are grateful for all the good things god bestow upon you.some people simply never have the chance to enjoy all this good things-the pictures above tells it all.

in the midst of all these luxury we enjoy,do remember unfortunate people out there.if we want love,so do they.perhaps,we should start giving out our love to people since god has gave us so much good things.it took a small step to start making an effort to make the world a better place. =)




Credits to fanpop.com for this picca =)

should i said i never had a new year as great as this one?this should explain why.=D

Reason 1:
went home flying on the last day of 2010 in the morning and got pampered with all my favourites foods! went kl with mummy and daddy to find my brothers and again,i got stuff with delicious food all day long!awesome to the max! XD

Reason 2:
i finally got my key!!!mum finally bought me one yesterday after all those pestering i made.haha...actually i don't really mind whether i have the key or not at the first place but somehow,i ended up wanted one since it symbolic that i'm officially 21-official adult and legal and yeah,simply because a mother was suppose to give on to her daughter when she turn 21.(i just want a present from mummy,that's all =P)well,i do have to admit friends influenced me as well since most of my friends have one,i wanted one as well and that was another part of the reason.so forgive me for my childish-ness.and here's a glimpse of my key! =D




mummy got me this! =)


reaaon 3:
just a day before i came back to penang,shen li,hui yan,ee na,yin shyuan and yin ching drop by my house and we spend the whole time laughing,giggling and complaining about our university life.they brought along 2 packet of my hometown famous chee cheong fun which somehow turns out to be pathetic as we spend more than 1 hour to finish it (ah well,we were busy cam-whoring with the chee cheong fun =D and looi said she feel the chee cheong fun is pathetic coz we did that =.=

anyhow,i shall leave the rest of the talking to the piccas! =D




from left: me (in my pyjamas =.=, ee na,hui yan and shen li =)




me 'harrasing' hui yan >=P




the best pic of the night!


what a perfect way to start a brand new year!hopefully things stay this smooth and great for the remaining year!

First

and so,jazz band concert is finally over.i had fun performing in the concert minus the running i did throughout that time that make me feel like jelly just minutes before performance start.ah well,since i burn a lot of calories from it,i shall overlook it for this time.=D

it was my 2nd jazz band concert but little did i know,yesterday itself marks many of my first time.

the first time someone told me i look beautiful that night even though i just wore plain attire and make up.

the first time someone gave me a big bouquet of flowers (hide my feeling even though i really like it)














and it's the first time someone confess that he like me.

little did he know that he make that night special to me and to be frank,i cant help but smiling when i look at that bouquet of flower.

"i think i need more time and to take things slowly." is all i answered.he look a bit dissapointed but i do wonder whether he realise that i was actually giving him a chance to go after me.

again,little did he know that if he is persistant enough,he might actually get what he want.and again,that is if he realise that and did not give up half way.

there's too many knots and i didn't know where i should start to untangled it.

or,should i said it's a mixture of feeling right now?i don't seem to be able to identify my feeling anymore.put it simple,i don't even know what i want.

the questions "do you like him?" "do you think he has a chance?" and "what do you feel about him?" send me in a state of shock.after all,these questions never cross my mind -in a state where i have to seriously consider bout it- before.

i would be lying if i said i never thought of giving him a chance.but,in a relationship,i do believe that 2 party should get to know each other well enough before they took it further to another stage.not just jumping in a conclusion for the sake just because you got rejected and made through disappointment a few times.

if only people know the real me and my real need.i need a guy that can make me feel safe and secure-not someone that's draining me both mentally and physically.
i need someone that's persistent enough and does not give up easily.
i need someone that know the boundary between personal and work matter.
i need someone that know how to give and take - i don't give and take easily.but if i do,i really meant it from deep in my heart and it gonna be in a very indirect way.
i need someone who are willing to spend time to know me well,just like i do-because i know well how complicated people can be since i am one of those complicated person.

i would be lying again if i said look doesn't matter.but,if that someone do sincerely love me the way i am, willing to spend time to know me well instead of forcing himself on me,i'm ready to accept that someone regardless of their look.after all,what i really need is someone that love me dearly.

to get me,you have to go extra miles to uncover my masks.patient and time are needed, with a promise that you'll get what you want in return.

Why did i feel like i was waiting for the rain in the draught?it feels like i was waiting for something impossible.somwthig that's never meant to be.something that's useless.something that can onlu remain as dream.or am i had been searching for a tiny bits of sand in the vast ocean?

an escape from the hustle and bustle of the city once in a while might be a good idea after all. =)

and so,i found myself on a one day trip with ciara,pei yek and ben.and i had whole lot's of fun there;the cool breeze and the green green scenery makes me feel calm and happy.

but anyhow,will just let the pics do all the talking =)




BOH TEA-it's a nice place to have a drink and a chat there.




while having tea......somehow we ended up cam whoring at that place.XD




of morning glory and hibiscus.....



say hello to the beau of nature! =D




strawberry farm....what is cameron highland without strawberry?




and this was taken at the side of the road.and the ones with me,of course my precious in uni! XD


oh yea,here's my boy (kinda random,yes i know but somehow i feel like posting his pic! =D)from a kiddo a few months back then,he's a big boy now.love him so much!






my little precious!

A Hidden Letter to Daddy

i remembered how i would pretend to fall asleep in the living room when i knew dad will be home late,
i remembered how i would pretend to be asleep when dad tried to wake me up softly,
simply because i wanted dad to carry me back to my bedroom.

i remembered how i wish dad would carry me to bedroom every night,
i remembered how i wish that my bedroom was a few kilometers away,
simply because i wanted dad to carry me longer.

i remembered how i would secretly grinned when i was in my dad's arm,
i remembered how i would smile when dad gently put me on my bed,
simply because i am happy that my plan work out.

i remembered how i would listen to the sound of the door being gently close,
i remembered how i would quietly dozed off,smiling after that,
simply because i am satisfied and felt bless.

i remembered how i love the feeling when dad carry me,
i remembered how i felt so safe in my daddy's arms when he carry me,
simply because dad's two strong arms never fail to make me feel so warm and safe.


that was when i was still a little girl.now that i'm a 21 years old young adult,i do yearn to have dad carry me to my bedroom,just like how dad would carry me when i was a child.i adore dad's big palms,dad's two strong arm and how those two strong hands can never fail to make you feel so safe and being love.dad's definetly not good in showing his love and care through words but somehow,his every single gestures and actions,no matter how tiny is it never fail to move me.and i love it when he's being protective over me in some times.


but daddy,
i'm a big girl now.i'm no longer a girl who barely reach 3 feet and still look so toddler.i'm no longer a kid who said 'yes' to the things you said-i rebel your decisions and force my way through at times.but that's i wanted to explore my surrounding and take new risks.i know you are afraid of me falling down but that's ok because i'll never grow up if i never step out from my cocoon.

but daddy,no matter how independent i may be,at the end of the day,i'm still your little girl.i know i'll always be one.that i can promise you.

daddy,
i know you won't read this.that's the reason why i wrote my thoughts down here.even though sometimes we quarrel,even though sometimes i rebel your words and decisions,even though sometimes i resent how unfair god is to me because you are not kind to me when we're in a fight,at the end of the day,i love you daddy.your every sacrifices,i remembered everyone of it.

daddy,
i love you daddy.and you know,i will always will.

what you see ain't gonna be the things u get.




if you want the real person,you'll have to go extra mile to uncover the mask