standing opposite to each other, i was pondering what's running in her mind. for some reason, she look upset and it was as if she was in despair.the me last time would perhaps, go to her and ask her, 'what's wrong?' and it doesnt matter how times, i'll make her spit out her trouble.but the current me was no longer the same anymore i guess.

perhaps if she didn't let go of my hand in the first place,things might not be turn out this bad. or perhaps i was the one that choose to let go first?if only the faith and trust that i spend year building it didn't come crumbling down just like that in a meeting that not even last for 2 hours,i would find music making is indeed fun and intersting.

and here i am, asking questions like 'perhaps' and 'what if'.i said i'm letting go but at the end of the day, it turns out to be something that meant a lot to me.i do reminisce about the past; back then when we are in 1st year but it ache my heart so much; i just don't think that i can take it anymore. if only she realise that our friendship was like a one way street and if only she realise i was tired being the abandon one.

if only she and they realise how unhappy i was when i was in jazz band and still now.perhaps,if we could go back in time,things might be slightly different?