First

and so,jazz band concert is finally over.i had fun performing in the concert minus the running i did throughout that time that make me feel like jelly just minutes before performance start.ah well,since i burn a lot of calories from it,i shall overlook it for this time.=D

it was my 2nd jazz band concert but little did i know,yesterday itself marks many of my first time.

the first time someone told me i look beautiful that night even though i just wore plain attire and make up.

the first time someone gave me a big bouquet of flowers (hide my feeling even though i really like it)














and it's the first time someone confess that he like me.

little did he know that he make that night special to me and to be frank,i cant help but smiling when i look at that bouquet of flower.

"i think i need more time and to take things slowly." is all i answered.he look a bit dissapointed but i do wonder whether he realise that i was actually giving him a chance to go after me.

again,little did he know that if he is persistant enough,he might actually get what he want.and again,that is if he realise that and did not give up half way.

as you keep on walking,you'll reach a point where there's junction with many splitting road instead of a straight one.you were then force to make a decision whether you like it or not-to take the road not taken or the road where majority opt to.in each decision you makes,it changes your life forever.

if we are lucky enough,we are able to seek the things we want.or so to said,we did make the right decisions.

but that is,if,we make the right one.


the me right now is standing in front of a crossroad.looking at both roads,i was pondering hard.will i made decisions that promised me happy memories or will it only lead me walking down the path filled with regret and dissapointment?

truth be told,i'm afraid right now.but no one knows.

And christmas just passed.=] christmas spend together with love one;with family and childhood friends make me feels lile a little kid again.thank you santa for such a wonderful christmas right now.that's exactly what i need for christmas =D merry christmas !

feeling under appreciated.

and is tired of trying to break free from being under a shadow.perhaps,thing was never meant to be in the first place.

what meaning does it hold when you always feel out of the place or worse,more often feeling alone in the crowd?to make it more ironic,it never fail to happen at the place that enable you to do the thing u like the most.

perhaps,being invisible is not a good bad idea after all.at least,it do make me feel better than being under appreciated and like a doll.

music making and team building is SUPPOSE to be fun.for thinking i can let it go just like that,i'm indeed am such an idiot.

there's too many knots and i didn't know where i should start to untangled it.

or,should i said it's a mixture of feeling right now?i don't seem to be able to identify my feeling anymore.put it simple,i don't even know what i want.

the questions "do you like him?" "do you think he has a chance?" and "what do you feel about him?" send me in a state of shock.after all,these questions never cross my mind -in a state where i have to seriously consider bout it- before.

i would be lying if i said i never thought of giving him a chance.but,in a relationship,i do believe that 2 party should get to know each other well enough before they took it further to another stage.not just jumping in a conclusion for the sake just because you got rejected and made through disappointment a few times.

if only people know the real me and my real need.i need a guy that can make me feel safe and secure-not someone that's draining me both mentally and physically.
i need someone that's persistent enough and does not give up easily.
i need someone that know the boundary between personal and work matter.
i need someone that know how to give and take - i don't give and take easily.but if i do,i really meant it from deep in my heart and it gonna be in a very indirect way.
i need someone who are willing to spend time to know me well,just like i do-because i know well how complicated people can be since i am one of those complicated person.

i would be lying again if i said look doesn't matter.but,if that someone do sincerely love me the way i am, willing to spend time to know me well instead of forcing himself on me,i'm ready to accept that someone regardless of their look.after all,what i really need is someone that love me dearly.

to get me,you have to go extra miles to uncover my masks.patient and time are needed, with a promise that you'll get what you want in return.

i expected the situation,i knew it well all along.and yet,why am i feeling so dissapointed?

feeling unappreciated is definetly the worse feeling ever.being made transparent in front of the whole band add salt to the wound.so tell me,am i suppose to feel dissapointed even though i knew it all along?i had enough of it and i'm sick having to endure this kind of feeling.

it's not like we refuse to play or put any effort into learning the whole songs.we did put effort it just that like 'you' said,we face a lot of obstacles-time constraint is the major factor of course.and certainly 'you' just can't expect us to play like professional in just less than 2 weeks time.mind you,i just pick up flute in less than 3 months and for me to be able to play most of the part in the repertoires,what esle do you expect?

i had enough with everything.i do really wish i cant choose not to give a damn about whatever things that is happening.

but again,if only i was able to do it.at least i was spare from waves of dissapointment.............

music making in jazz band,definetly is not fun at all at this point,and i meant it.

is it gong to be a dream come true or nightmare?

for once,i felt like i made the right decision-keeping silence and concerntrating on just learning those pieces of music.isolating myself from all those dramas do really do me more good than harm.=)even though at times i had to control myself from bursting off some people just get my nerve on.

the best thing in the world are by no doubt,hard to obtain.so,perhaps,killer songs would promise me pure satisfaction in return?let's just hope that i can learn all those songs,especially death ray boogie,all those triplets in la mer and many more killer songs to go.

cross fingers i'll survive.i meant to write more but.....for now i cant resist the temptation to sleep after such a long day.

write soon and nitez peeps!

it's the midst of holiday and instead of staying at home or go traveling,here i am-stuck in university for another 2 weeks before going break for christmas break.

looking back,it's funny how things can change so drastically in just a year time.i used to look forward to attend practises back then.but now?put it simple,i'm feeling dread when the thought of attending pratices ever cross my mind.and yet,i find it ironic as the thing that i dread of is actually the thing i love the most-making and learning music,that's is.

i thought about it long and hard.what is the main reasons for this sudden change?is the problems lies in me?who's at fault?who's to blame?

it sure took me quite a while to realise it but in the end,perhaps i'm the one that have change.the me now is not the girl back then when she just enter university not long ago.i find it hard to accept things that are totally contradict with my beliefs as well as act that was against the moral values i upheld.

putting that asidee,i was trying to avoid someone there (@_@).it wasn't obvious at first.well,not until my 21st birthday when he just suddenly gave me a super big teddy bear which is almost 5 inch tall as my birthday present which was more than enough to put me in a state of shock.i dismiss the possibility that my friends told me at first (according to them,a guy has the intention to court the girl when they actually gave a teddy bear to a girl) but over time,i do feel something is wrong somewhere and to be frank,it freak me out.

reason?that guy turns out to be my flute tutor ...... at jazz band. =________________=" almost like something that comes out in the blue.

well,i guess for now,i'll just leave it as it is.with so many killer songs to learn in such a short time,i don't really have any time o figure out those nonsense right?let's just hope things stay the way it is now-though i can't really stand a few people there.i just didn't want things to get anymore complicated-with all those dramas that surround me everyday.=.="

as for now,let's just hope i'll survive this 2 bloody weeks.

Why did i feel like i was waiting for the rain in the draught?it feels like i was waiting for something impossible.somwthig that's never meant to be.something that's useless.something that can onlu remain as dream.or am i had been searching for a tiny bits of sand in the vast ocean?

an escape from the hustle and bustle of the city once in a while might be a good idea after all. =)

and so,i found myself on a one day trip with ciara,pei yek and ben.and i had whole lot's of fun there;the cool breeze and the green green scenery makes me feel calm and happy.

but anyhow,will just let the pics do all the talking =)




BOH TEA-it's a nice place to have a drink and a chat there.




while having tea......somehow we ended up cam whoring at that place.XD




of morning glory and hibiscus.....



say hello to the beau of nature! =D




strawberry farm....what is cameron highland without strawberry?




and this was taken at the side of the road.and the ones with me,of course my precious in uni! XD


oh yea,here's my boy (kinda random,yes i know but somehow i feel like posting his pic! =D)from a kiddo a few months back then,he's a big boy now.love him so much!






my little precious!

A Hidden Letter to Daddy

i remembered how i would pretend to fall asleep in the living room when i knew dad will be home late,
i remembered how i would pretend to be asleep when dad tried to wake me up softly,
simply because i wanted dad to carry me back to my bedroom.

i remembered how i wish dad would carry me to bedroom every night,
i remembered how i wish that my bedroom was a few kilometers away,
simply because i wanted dad to carry me longer.

i remembered how i would secretly grinned when i was in my dad's arm,
i remembered how i would smile when dad gently put me on my bed,
simply because i am happy that my plan work out.

i remembered how i would listen to the sound of the door being gently close,
i remembered how i would quietly dozed off,smiling after that,
simply because i am satisfied and felt bless.

i remembered how i love the feeling when dad carry me,
i remembered how i felt so safe in my daddy's arms when he carry me,
simply because dad's two strong arms never fail to make me feel so warm and safe.


that was when i was still a little girl.now that i'm a 21 years old young adult,i do yearn to have dad carry me to my bedroom,just like how dad would carry me when i was a child.i adore dad's big palms,dad's two strong arm and how those two strong hands can never fail to make you feel so safe and being love.dad's definetly not good in showing his love and care through words but somehow,his every single gestures and actions,no matter how tiny is it never fail to move me.and i love it when he's being protective over me in some times.


but daddy,
i'm a big girl now.i'm no longer a girl who barely reach 3 feet and still look so toddler.i'm no longer a kid who said 'yes' to the things you said-i rebel your decisions and force my way through at times.but that's i wanted to explore my surrounding and take new risks.i know you are afraid of me falling down but that's ok because i'll never grow up if i never step out from my cocoon.

but daddy,no matter how independent i may be,at the end of the day,i'm still your little girl.i know i'll always be one.that i can promise you.

daddy,
i know you won't read this.that's the reason why i wrote my thoughts down here.even though sometimes we quarrel,even though sometimes i rebel your words and decisions,even though sometimes i resent how unfair god is to me because you are not kind to me when we're in a fight,at the end of the day,i love you daddy.your every sacrifices,i remembered everyone of it.

daddy,
i love you daddy.and you know,i will always will.

what you see ain't gonna be the things u get.




if you want the real person,you'll have to go extra mile to uncover the mask

while other have an hour or perhaps more than that, every call made never last more than 1 min.or the longest,5 mins.

while phone calls for both of them are frequent,perhaps to the extend of everyday, every call made was a week once.or perhaps 2 weeks once.

while she can talk almost everything to them in the phone,every call made was the same sentences.or the most,just 2 sentences.

while concern were showed when they need it,every call made sounds cold and unfamiliar.

and i envy those that can have a heart to heart talk with their parents.simply because,i was not given such privilege.the expectation is there;no mistakes are allowed and every mistakes made shall not be overlook.and that's how i am supposed to be in the family.

and now,i just couldn't find the meaning to move on.what is the means of moving on?

her thoughts are void today and she didn't know why.

she feel like giving up right now but she keep on clinging to the spider thread.
and she didn't know why

she just wish someone is there beside her,making sure she move on.
but she's alone right now.

all is nothing but void today.

i finally found the courage to move forward again,after feeling dejected for 2 whole day.

what has passed,there's no turning back to it.as much as i wanted to scream and throw tantrum or perhaps hoping for the time to go backward so that i can make amendment,those will just merely remain as something impossible.

the only thing i can do right now is work as hard as i can to make sure that i can make things better,even though it's only a little.it's tough but given the current situation,i was only offer 2 choices-screw up the whole paper or work as hard as i can in hope to improve my grades.screwing up the whole paper is definetly not something i would opt-never in my life will i choose to give up just like that!

the me right now,is just like clinging hard on a spider thread to make changes.

but still,it's better than choosing to give up without even trying.

who to blame??

as much as i wanted to put all the blame on the world,i still have to admit that at the end of the day,i'm supposed to blame myself, not someone else.

perhaps i didn't work hard enough

perhaps i should have spend more time on it

perhaps i was carried away

perhaps i took it for granted

perhaps......

perhaps......

all those hard work- sleepless night,time and effort spend,the frustration i had to bear and all those bitterness just go down the drain just like that.it makes me think-might as well as i just fool around,even i was subjected to this condition,i'm aware that i did not try hard enough.but,as for now,i feel like those effort are futile.hard work don't always paid off.or either,i'm not working hard enough.

for the time being,i just wanted to cry.and yet,i despise myself right now-i wanted to cry so badly but i can't find my tears.

yea,i'm officially screw up for this semestar.getting C for not one,not two but 3 courseworks are indeed more than enough to kill me off.with one of it is 70% coursework,that's it.

of course,i'm feeling super dissapointed now.it was like afterall,my worst grade ever.and i just have no idea how to survive this semestar.it pissed me off when my group members seem to not know anything bout it.and when one of them text me

'it's ok,you try your best.i'm sorry that i drag you down.'

i was left speechless and of course i'm angry as well.what's the point of apologizing now that the result is out?and nothing make me feel even frustrated to the fact that all those efforts,time and energy spend on those assignments just go down the drain like that.

perhaps,mum's call somehow add salt to the wound.she call just now and ask how's exam.i reply, 'like that lo.but i have a feeling i'm going to get bad result this sem'.i expect words of encouragement;i really do need those word from her.instead,all i get was, 'why your coursework so bad?' how am i supposed to know that?it's not like i was fooling around throughout the whole semestar and she said nothing esle after that.yea,it do break my heart.i know things is always different between me and my 2 brothers but i guess,at this point,i just cant take it anymore.

can i just cry like a child now?

i was left wavering with dissapointement one after another yesterday but a good 8 hours solid sleep might be exactly what i need to calm myself down.

getting C+ for both my assignments (with one of them are 70% coursework) definetly dealt me a big blow.afterall,i had never did so badly in my course before.the worse grad i ever get was B+ and that should be able to explain why i felt so upset.

to add salt to the wound,miscommunication happened between me and my research writing partner.perhaps both of us are at fault but with so much job pending,i just don;t have the time and energy to argue with him.i have better things to do than wasting my energy arguing with him.in reply for his sarcastic text messages,instead of replying his message with the same essence,i opt to just be calm and told him that i would get the job done. yes,i have strong work ethnic and perhaps that lead to my stubborn-bull-like personality.

anyhow,now that i'm feeling alright and calm,i should be getting back to my job.after all,my to-do list was kinda long today:

1.get the research writing ready according to the skeleton i made
2.re-construct the reading and points for my monday paper
3.study for tomorrow insurance exam (taking the exam for the sake of rm100.omg!)


yeap,i'm proud of myself that i wasn't dwelling at my misfortune like a sore loser.

empyrean lament on her behalf.

simply because she disremember how to express it.

but it soothes her heart

knowing that she was able to cry in another way.

aside from inspiration,i seriously need sufficient time to do my writing for the research paper.

writing under constrain and various pressure especially exam is a daunting task......i need to study for my exam and yet i have writing to submit on the same time.......

motivation,where are you?=( i need you badly!

while others are beginning the countdown towards the last day of exam, i'm still in the midst of counting down days for my papers to start. my first paper, after all is on 15th nov, 1 week from now.

and it seems like i'm having a battle with my internal self on the same time as well.exam period, is always a killer time for me. a time where we forcefully squeeze everything we learn in perhaps less than a week time into our poor brain, simply for the sake of one word 'EXAM'.and i, without fail, would have to force myself to study instead of slacking off.

learning process, to me, is supposed to be a process where i enjoy discovering new things that are alien to me and apply it according to my own flavor in life.instead,now,i found myself pushing myself real hard to study for exam;for the sake of getting a good grade and of course,dean list.

i wonder why all these matters so much to me; good grades and hitting dean list.no idea why though, afterall,i had the same question in my mind every since in secondary school.

above all,mr motivation, please come to me.i need you to survive this exam.=(

i suppose i ask that question in an absent minded manner.that explain why it took her a long time to reply me.

*there's no more baby la.the baby's heart stop beating at 7 weeks*

that leaves me stunned for a while.i felt like it was as if i was adding salt to her wound.panic attack me and i was frantically trying to construct my reply in my mind.

i apologise for not knowing it and even though she said she's ok,i still feel bad.feeling guilty for not knowing it earlier.feeling worse for bringing up the subject that would hurt her.and to end these awkwardness,i lie that i had to resume studying...perhaps,simply because i didn't know what to say...neither i know of the proper way to console her as i did not want to make things worse.

i know she wont get a chance to read this but i stil want to say:

jia,i'm really sorry for not being sensitive enough.and im sure things will be better for you; god must have something esle in his mind.yet,im sorry for asking ou that question. =( really sorry

*cross fingers*

praying hard that dad recover soon.... ='(

for a moment,i decided to just stop going forward and take a good look around my surrounding; the people,the environment and little little small things in life.

my university life,perhaps,meeting them was the best gift i received so far.meeting them,getting to know them and ended up being together with them,truth be told,i indeed feel really bless!



getting to know you guys,perhaps it's one of the best thing ever that happen in my life.

and i just want you guys to know how happy i am for knowing you guys.how glad i am to have you guys beside me and i cherish you guys from the bottom of my heart.=)





i love you girls!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Work + Halloween = FUN!!

yeap, as the tittle goes, working on halloween day spells fun!!

been working as redbull ME girls on 30 and 31 oct at genting highland for the trialthon competition held there. practically, i think we work less than 5 hours (well,we do work smart and fast) and we get rm120 for that!awesome max!

had a tour around genting near one world at night as i was supposed to go in the casino!!(never been to one in my whole life and i just turn 21!) and yet, all those excitedness are killed off when 2 of my friends are being shoo out by the guard(not officially 21 yet) from not only 1 but 2 casinos!!OMG!seriously almost died from embarrassement. =.= no joke!

but anyhow, we do manage to get some nice pics and have our own fun, so i guess it's okay then.=) and here are some pics to do all the talking =)




had dinner at one of the vietnamese restaurant and the food there are awesome max!












the best brain food of the day!! =) and the price is reasonable as well.too bad i cant take beef.='(




with yi ling and ciara.=) love them both so much!




yea,i'm cam-whoring in the bathroom.>.< but i cant help myself.XD




with yi ling =)




with ciara ;P




standing next to me is the marketing supervisor and since it's halloween, she decided to pretend as a ghost and she do have a fun time going around scaring people off their head.




with ranny (the last on the left) love this pic soooo much!everyone look so pretty in it. XD

my 21st. =)

i have a blast 21st.for showering me with all those wishes, celebration and loves, i really thank you guys from the deep bottom of my heart. for making it a memorable one, for making it a unforgotten one, for making me feeling like a princess- thank you so much!!


p/s: yi ling,pei yek,ciara,yuit khey,april,wan yun, hui yi - thank you so much for the cakes and the celebration!the cake is awesome but nothing is more awesome than you guys =)

ciara and april - thank you for accompanying me to go club. i have a great birthday thanks to u guys and nothing worth more than that. =)

and yea, i really love u guys. for having u guys beside me,i couldn't ask for more but to thank god for treating me so well.XD

the clock strike 12.

as for today,i'm officially 21-an official adult and legal now.

and yea,i'm excited like a child now.XD

i'm turning 21 in less than 2 hours time. and somehow,i do feel excited; it's my birthday tomorrow after all.

well, i thought it'll be just another year; well, except that im turning 21 and im officially legal!- but somehow,things got another plan for me. i was leave speechless and in a state of shock on my birthday eve- trying hard to digest the things that happened in front of me.

yea,it's a big suprise, for me and till now, i still cant seem to digest it at all,not yet. i'm still puzzled and confused as i look at m bed now; what am i gonna do with it btw?

Just The Way You Are

Yes, i'm totally in love with this song right now.can't help but keep on listening to it all day long.


Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars
Oh, her eyes, her eyes,
make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair,
falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful,
and I tell her every day

Yeah, I know, I know,
when I compliment her
she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so,
sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look ok,
I say

When I see your face,
there's not a thing that I would change
Because you're amazing,
just the way you are
And when you smile,
the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing,
just the way you are

Her lips, her lips,
I could kiss them all day if she let me
Her laugh, her laugh,
she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful,
and I tell her every day

Oh, you know, you know, you know,
I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for
then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok
You know
I'll say

When I see your face,
there's not a thing that I would change
Because you're amazing,
just the way you are
And when you smile,
the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing,
just the way you are
The way you are, the way you are
Girl you're amazing, just the way you are

When I see your face,
there's not a thing that I would change
Because you're amazing,
just the way you are
And when you smile,
the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing,
just the way you are. Yeah


Perhaps, i've been waiting to have that special someone telling me, "you're amazing just the way you are." am pretty sure tears gona rolled down my cheek and gonna remember that very special moment for the rest of my life.

12 hours of sleep is perhaps what i need all these while.....

a whole long month of unending pending assignments and work,i finally found a space for me to brief and to digest things as well.severe sleep deprivation and not having a single proper meals drained me of my energy,both physically and mentally.but well,i guess i'll just have some good rest for these 2 weeks before study weeks start.

am taking a break from everything; from study,from jazz band and all other stuff except FUN! feeling bad for lying to JB president that i had things to do during the Tawau Project Concert but i do feel the need to do that.i need a break from jazz band,from the people there as well before i turned into some sort of miss-snotty-and-grupmy.and i have the need to recharge myself for the upcoming concert and music camp (2 weeks long!OMG)

mind you,i used to look forward to every jazz band activities but now,im dreading of it.and yet,why on earth am i still refuse to quit? =.="

newae,some piccas to complete this post. =)










as one of the 'Go Block' models.having fun there and yea,the batik we're wearing cost more that RM700++.....the most expensive clothes i ever wear in my whole life though it doesn't look like it.



















sushi-ing at sushi king with sue ann, april, ciara, pei yek, yi ling and yuit khey. have tonnes of fun there;eating and cam-whoring. =) i do appreciate this get-together moments;for some,they just never have the chance to do that.and i do love these people deep in my heart. =) more precious than a gem to me.

some people spend their whole life looking for friends that they can rely on-i'm one of these people as well.but, for now,im just glad that i have these people right besides me.for the time being,nothing esle matters.

i need a rest and i need a break.

with all those sleep debt keeps piling up,it's a matter of time before my body and my health sabotaj me.

so not gona like this when it happen.

standing opposite to each other, i was pondering what's running in her mind. for some reason, she look upset and it was as if she was in despair.the me last time would perhaps, go to her and ask her, 'what's wrong?' and it doesnt matter how times, i'll make her spit out her trouble.but the current me was no longer the same anymore i guess.

perhaps if she didn't let go of my hand in the first place,things might not be turn out this bad. or perhaps i was the one that choose to let go first?if only the faith and trust that i spend year building it didn't come crumbling down just like that in a meeting that not even last for 2 hours,i would find music making is indeed fun and intersting.

and here i am, asking questions like 'perhaps' and 'what if'.i said i'm letting go but at the end of the day, it turns out to be something that meant a lot to me.i do reminisce about the past; back then when we are in 1st year but it ache my heart so much; i just don't think that i can take it anymore. if only she realise that our friendship was like a one way street and if only she realise i was tired being the abandon one.

if only she and they realise how unhappy i was when i was in jazz band and still now.perhaps,if we could go back in time,things might be slightly different?

one of my friends told me,'if i were to experience 10 sadness in return for one happiness,i rather not to know what happiness is.'

if i were subjected to that condition,if i was given the chance to go back in time,i would choose to walk the same path;i would go for 1 happiness with 10 sadness in return.

perhaps it was simply because,up till now,my life revolve around this concept.stupid and meaningless,yes i know.but maybe because of that,i learn to treasure all those good times i had; embed it deep into my heart,embracing the faith that thing's will be alright in bad times.

or maybe,because i feel everything is upside down for me that i would said such things.i slowly but definitely begin to hate the things i enjoyed doing most.attending family function (big bro convocation) which was supposed to be a happy family gathering makes me feels like dying of despair and isolation deep inside and the list goes on.and here i am,struggling to hold on still to what i believe is right and refusing to give it up.

and i believe,no matter how hard things are to me now,tomorrow will be better.=)

few pics to complete this post-taken during bro's convocation:










more pics to come bout my recent job as 'go block' model.but gona save it for the next post....gotta get working now.sigh~~

watch titanic,again, yesterday and found intersting quote from there.

a woman's heart is like a deep ocean of secrets.

sounds true to me.hidden in my heart were uncountable secrets that's not know to anyone.no one in my circle of friends knew about this very blog existance that i owned.

i do feel the need to freely write down what i feel in my everyday life since expressing it through words and face to face prove to be a daunting task for me...perhaps,simply because i didn't know who to turn to.somehow,i'm lost along in the sea of secrets.

if it's possible,i would prefer none of them realised or found this blog at all.if they manage,i can imagine how devastating and heart broken they would be;judging from the stuff i blog here and simply because,i undergo the same experience before.

the 8th day of my 16 days holidays.....

it feels like yesterday when my holidays started.a week passed since then with me doing nothing much; being a couch potato instead of studying.and here i am,at this hour of the day, sitting in front of my lappie; struggling to finish my mounts of assignments.

the retribution for wasting 1 week:- i'm seriously short of time to finish my assignments and the most ironic thing is,i haven even started doing the assignment that was due right after raya holiday! OMG!!! >________________________<

as a reminder for myself,here's my to do list for this holidays.

YKT 211 Communication Research - literature review
YKT 214 Communication Technology - 6 pages assignments with at least 25 references
YWP 211 Journalism I - 6 pages assignment on book review
AKW 104 Finance and Accounting - study up 3 topics for quiz (deadline??14 sept)
SKW 104 Introduction to Economy - 30 pages on Dasar Wawasan Negara (DONE!!!!! ^_^)

looking at my to do list......*sigh* i'm pretty much dead.

another post in less than 5 mins.=)

i meant to blog down what i feel but it would be waste if i didn't share the articles with you guys; neither to make my post a super long one.and so,this is specially dedicated to my thoughts.=)

i was watching this movie earlier (forgot what's the name), real life story - heroine was milly,a woman who fought parkinson disease till to her last breath.yea yea,i like inspirational stuff but if it tach me the value of life,why not?

and i realise something.

in a relationship,
i don't need you to be handsome,to be rich.
i just want you to understand me,
make sure i didn't go astray from my path,
telling me what is right what is wrong - not keeping a blind eyes simply because you want to please me
be there when i need you most - in times of trouble and happiness.






growing old together with people you love the most,it turns out that not everyone have this privelage. i used to think, growing old is scary but it turns out that, if you really been given the chance,god must have think that you deserve it. =)




at the end of the days,it doesn't matter how much wealth you own, all that counts was the longing to spend the rest of your remaining life with your love one.

i stumble upon this intersting article as i randomly google around;searching for a suitable pic that would represent my thought.and it seems like as people grow older,they became wiser.wonder if i'll be like them?i would like to share this with you guys. =) hope u'll love it.


TIME GETS BETTER WITH AGE – Age 5 to age 92; Read it through to the end, it gets better as you go!

I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sings “Silent Night”. Age 5

I’ve learned that our dog doesn’t want to eat my broccoli either. Age 7

I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. Age 9

I’ve learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again. Age 12

I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. Age 14I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my parents are strict with me. Age 15

I’ve learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice. Age 24

I’ve learned that brushing my child’s hair is one of life’s great pleasures. Age 26

I’ve learned that wherever I go, the world’s worst drivers have followed me there. Age 29

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it. Age 30

I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don’t know how to show it. Age 42

I’ve learned that you can make some one’s day by simply sending them a little note. Age 44

I’ve learned that the greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others. Age 46

I’ve learned that children and grandparents are natural allies. Age 47

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. Age 48

I’ve learned that singing “Amazing Grace” can lift my spirits for hours. Age 49

I’ve learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone. Age 50

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. Age 51

I’ve learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills. Age 52

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die. Age 53

I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. Age 58

I’ve learned that if you want to do something positive for your children, work to improve your marriage. Age 61

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. Age 62

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. Age 64

I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you. Age 65

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision. Age 66

I’ve learned that everyone can use a prayer. Age 72

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. Age 82

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. Age 90

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. Age 92


*credits to american retired seniors*
http://www.americanretiredseniors.com/inspiration-and-humor/time-gets-better-with-age/#more-1182

familiar walkway
familiar faces
familiar bolster
familiar voices.....

after 2 long months,i'm finaly back home.=)

ただいま！！

at least,now i know i can stop trying.

i would be lying if i said it doesn't at all,matter much to me.but there are things that you just can't force your way through.....friendship for example.but at least,i knew,i didn't make this decision without even trying; i tried not once not twice.

if i could convey my feeling to them,i would love to have my feelings being heard rather than having to swallow it up on my own.but,no point in doing it if it'll only cause more troubles (i've been with and working with them for some time so,i knew how things work between them.)

perhaps,i was tired of trying so hard and take it seriously.it do me more harm than good and it wouldn't be so selfish of me have make this kind of decision right?i just wanted to protect myself; unlike her,i have no one to count to in times of needs and happiness and certainly,no one there to make sure i stood up again when i fall.

pictures taken from the outing just now that make me realise my thoughts and decisions.=)



Substituting the snooker stick with a flute.=)



if you look hard enough,you'll see not only the moon but a bright star as well.