My Experience with SONY Cyber Shot

 

if feels like yesterday when i enrolled as a freshie.

we were freshie!!! =D looked so young and kiddy back then.

i’m not that old mind you. but, for some reasons, i never cease to amaze on how time could just pass and flies without waiting for anyone. there were times when i wished the clock would just stop ticking for the would to come to a standstill. for i would want happy moments to remain there forever, for me to be gay and keep on laughing out loud.

 

from freshie to senior, from girl to fine young lady

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i don’t have to do any talking with words. all the pictures above are far more already a good story teller themselves. =) all those photos were took using sony cyber shot anyway. sony cyber shot that takes shots of my journey in life, from a little girl to a fine young lady.

my experience with sony cyber shot? it would be

SONY AND ME IN SONY CYBER SHOT

funny how i’m actually doubting myself right now.

did i choose the right place to do internship?will i be able to perform well?will i be able to learn new things and sharpen my skills? or will i be doing all these trivial jobs for the remaining 2 months?

for the last doubt,heck no! the me right now,i was afraid, nervous and anxious. perhaps hearing my other coursemates saying they are given a lot of real hand experience related task, it somehow increase my jealousness. i was in a total mess and haywire right now. i just couldn’t calm myself.

perhaps, just for tonight, i shall let all my thoughts go haywire. i need a talk with myself. it’s only the beginning……only the second day. perhaps, with more effort and hard work, things will get better. yes it will. i just have to put in more effort and i can scrap through this.

maybe for once,i should stop thinking about expectation. just for this one, perhaps i ought to take a step at a time and see what this company holds for me.

the sun set and rise. tomorrow onwards, it definitely gonna be a better day.

internship officially started today!! as mention in the previous post [maybe dated a few months back?] i secure myself as an intern in seventeen magazine [sounds glamour eh?] and ironically, as excited as i am when i first know about this, i somewhat wasn’t feeling pretty enthusiastic of starting internship. instead, part of me is dying for september to come quickly so that i can get my arse back to penang.

perhaps, i was afraid of being in a new place as a total stranger. not only the roads here is like combination of spiders’ web, getting out just to get a meal takes up a lot of your time!! yea,KL and PJ do sounds [again] glamour,but the fact is it isn’t. not many people know how it taken a toll on u almost daily [exclude local kl ppl please].

and i am stranded in a room where my space practically consists of a bed and sum place to put my luggage bag,laptop bag and hand carry bag. that’s it. not an extra inch is given.even my make-up, toiletries and what else all have to be in hand carry bag. FML.

as fi things isn’t unsatisfying enough, first day of internship sucks! been left waiting the receptionist area for 1 hour like a total idiot. wen to office and again, i felt like a total idiot as there’s no work available for me (by work i mean REAL WORK!!). i ended up helping ironing clothes used for photo shoot for almost like an hour plus. then was ask to arrange and dispose old press releases and it actually took almost a few hours to do it!

got Apple’s help to write some code on double dating and hopefully the entertainment and lifestyle editor would use it for aug issue. then, gotta called up all the participants to invite them for crew girl get together event and i gotta resume calling tomorrow since i couldn’t reach some of them =/ and finally,i was required to type out the list in words which i gonna do it tomorrow.

maybe i was expecting more. maybe i was expecting too much from myself as well.i wanted to do some real writing job.not trivial job like this. and rite now, i was afraid that i’ll ended up doing all these trivial jobs for the remaining 2 months and it’s hard for me to adapt myself with them as they seemed to have their own clique and their own topic of conversations. and i for one have no freaking idea on the things that they are talking about. neither about starting a conversation. massive failure. WTF and FML.

tomorrow and the coming days,i pray that it will be a better day. i would endure and do anything just to land myself on real writing works during internship. *cross fingers and pray hard*

the only time i feel good about myself without having to walk away feeling nothing but guilt and depress, is the time when i stop giving a damn about what people taught and said about me or behind my back.

this doesn’t mean i’m someone who can’t accept criticism. yes, criticism plays important role when we intend to improve ourselves.however, being exposed to too much criticism for a long time and in everything you do, it kills. it kills, not only your confidence and self esteem, but, it leave u in a depress state,pondering what’s wrong and what’s not. soon because of that,you get tired with life. that’s when thoughts like suicide, giving up or ‘let’s just do nothing and rot since everything is so wrong’ came invading your mind as uninvited and unwanted guests.

the pressure to be someone-you-are-suppose-to-be is always there. in this fast moving world, everything is all about perfection in the eyes of beholders. any slight imperfection is total unacceptable; unless you are lucky enough to meet someone who value it or maybe escape it with minor scratch. but, let’s just admit it that not all of us are that lucky. with pressure,influences and demand in every corner of the market,society or maybe loved ones, we no longer be who we are,rather we are who we are supposed to be.

amidst all that, this saying comes ringing in my mind every now and then. in order to get something, one must sacrifice something of an equal value – equivalent change. for some circumstances, this proved to be true,fair and just. but under certain predicaments, it just didn’t make sense.

yes,i do harbour a lot of dissatisfaction and anger in me for the happenings in my life. despite all these, i do want to believe that there’s a lot of wonderful things hidden under all these brutality and cruelty. it might be just an never ending dream. but if it’s a dream that would keep me going and ensure i’m on the right track, what’s wrong in holding unto those dreams?

quote from ‘Dream Girls’, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS DREAM. 

i might get myself killed one day if i’m not careful enough in handling all these emotion running in me right now.

the odd one

the exceptional one

the weird one

the longing for the sense of belonging

the denial of the truth

the hidden living under a shadow

the buried emotion

the only stranger amongst family members

always

looking at the wide blue-white cotton sky

the green-blue mysterious oceon

the woody-greeny calming trees

the chromatic sky of the sun rise and set.

 

always

hoping she could

dance under the rhythm of the rain

bath the warmth of the shinning sun

dazed off by the beauty of enigmatic moon

adrift halfway counting the hanging diamonds hang on the wide black curtain

 

always

surmise what lies deep at the other side

haunted by past ghosts

well-nigh drown in the realm of dysphoria

chained with unseen loud fetter

 

always

ponder why fairy tales doesn’t exist

in refusal and state of denial of “fate”

the never ending struggle

trading dim hope over and over again

for promises that seem impossible

 

always

the bird in the golden cage

full of longing,thoughts,reverie

remorse,melancholy and perhaps,a kiss of warmth

too, confined in an unwanted golden cage

 

always

the bird in the golden cage

with a dream of thorny bushes

 

a look to the left,

a glimpse to the right,

in a blink of eyes,

time flies – just like that.

looking back, it feels like yesterday where everything begin. the anxiousness, excitement, pondering, thoughts, tears, laughter – those mixed feelings that refined every single details in my life do actually leave a mark in my life without me even realising it.

only one more year to go, perhaps, in just a blink of eyes i would be attending my graduation ceremony – holding my degree and looking back at the life that i’ve spend in my university years so far.

i do wonder how i’ll react. will i shed tears? will i feel as if there’s stones weighting down my heart? will i miss those moments i spend? or maybe, will i pray hard that time would just stop right there,remain still and let those time go on forever?

funny how i’m having all these thoughts in my mind right now. yet, no matter what, i myself are pretty aware that despite whatever happened, at the end of the day, i would miss those places. places that have traces of fragmented memories of the day spend together regardless of bad or good times.

all this are part of learning process to begin with. i learnt and grow along as i live with it. i came to my on senses as life goes on; for now,at least, i learn how to be true to myself.

well, i still have a year to go. i’m pretty sure i’ll filled every single days with memories, memories that remained close in heart till the end of life.

as for now, i guess i’ll just live on.

time flies, life? life goes on. life is just too beautiful to be wasted just like that.