i always thought i loss more than i gain.at the end of the day,it turns out that it was the other way round.ironic, isn't it?or should i said it's a good thing instead?

i gained freedom,experiences that would never be mine the moment i took the first step into university.in return,i forgot what loneliness,hopelessness and despair are like; found myself in a deep dungeon once again when the same misfortune befall me.i loss more that i gained, is what i thought deep in my heart.despair overwhelmed me.

i know new friends and they offer me things that my childhood friends could never offered me.in return,my childhood friends seems to be away from me.i loss more than i gained, is what i thought deep in my heart again.

im the only one that was enrolled in local university (APEX university of all university) while the rest of them failed to secure a place,enroll in private college in the end.i got into my dream university but in return,i was isolated most of the time because of it.again,i loss more that i gained, is what i thought deep in my heart.

so,here's the truth.is it really true that i loss more than what i gained?ii used to think it's true and im not satisfied with it.everything i gained,i made sacrifice and work hard for it.so,why is it that i have to loss a lot of thing everytime i gained something?where did i do wrong?

as ironic as it can be,i just realise that i never loss anything to begin with.i loss something but not much.it is true that i lost something,but i own something more vulnerable,things that people own but they never realised it.i was promised experience,lessons of life and each of it is an eye opener for me.i didn't loss anything huh?

sometimes,i do thing the price is too much for me to bear.but i guess that's what life is.i rise slowly,then being knock down to the ground and found myself trying to get up,stand at my own 2 feet and start walking and rising again.is this what have been promised to me,as a compensation for all the thing i lost in the process??