the only time i feel good about myself without having to walk away feeling nothing but guilt and depress, is the time when i stop giving a damn about what people taught and said about me or behind my back.

this doesn’t mean i’m someone who can’t accept criticism. yes, criticism plays important role when we intend to improve ourselves.however, being exposed to too much criticism for a long time and in everything you do, it kills. it kills, not only your confidence and self esteem, but, it leave u in a depress state,pondering what’s wrong and what’s not. soon because of that,you get tired with life. that’s when thoughts like suicide, giving up or ‘let’s just do nothing and rot since everything is so wrong’ came invading your mind as uninvited and unwanted guests.

the pressure to be someone-you-are-suppose-to-be is always there. in this fast moving world, everything is all about perfection in the eyes of beholders. any slight imperfection is total unacceptable; unless you are lucky enough to meet someone who value it or maybe escape it with minor scratch. but, let’s just admit it that not all of us are that lucky. with pressure,influences and demand in every corner of the market,society or maybe loved ones, we no longer be who we are,rather we are who we are supposed to be.

amidst all that, this saying comes ringing in my mind every now and then. in order to get something, one must sacrifice something of an equal value – equivalent change. for some circumstances, this proved to be true,fair and just. but under certain predicaments, it just didn’t make sense.

yes,i do harbour a lot of dissatisfaction and anger in me for the happenings in my life. despite all these, i do want to believe that there’s a lot of wonderful things hidden under all these brutality and cruelty. it might be just an never ending dream. but if it’s a dream that would keep me going and ensure i’m on the right track, what’s wrong in holding unto those dreams?

quote from ‘Dream Girls’, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS DREAM.