i realised why i hate dogs do much and it amazed me how the movie 'marley and me' never failed send tears dancing around my cheeks in a carefree manner no matter how many times i watched it.that's it, i hate dogs!i hate the movie 'marley and me'!
it used to be fear,not hatred that lies in me from when i was young till i was a grown up (21 is consider as a grown up rite?hmm...maybe...)well,i always thought that dogs are somehow....scary?they look like monster,with their big strong teeth and groan whenever people walk near them.ok,i admit,i'm a scaredy cat at that time.and...am still now.beat me!
it wasn't till 2007 when dad decided to adopt a dog (dad finally gives in after being pester by my younger brother) and instead of pet dogs like maltese,chihuahua or shi tzu,it was a guard dog and of all the guard dogs,it's a rod weiler.=.=" 'praise god!' is the words that's been dancing in my mind.after 1 month,the cute lil' innocent looking pup,max finally arrived at our home.
as expected from a guard dog,max was enormous....yes,HE IS ENORMOUS!!! he was almost as tall as me when he stand up (my height is 163cm to begin with) and somehow,he was one of those dog that my family consider as a 'jakun'.he was scare of lorry and cow to the extend that he wet himself,unconsciously and yeah,he's afraid of fireworks and thunder.he make me feel guilty for refusing him with his 2 big marble-like innocent eyes without fail!he 'chopped' down my grandma's papaya tree when my granny was away for singapore for 2 weeks,sliced granny's pandan tree to thin slices,bully my mum,and at one point of the time,he indeed 'sexually harrass' me.somehow,he just love to hug me to the point that he refused to let me go once i step out of the house.so sexually harrass somehow,fit in for me.
well,that was when he was young.i always thought that he was a nuisance but,without me realising it,i started to get used to his presence.max never failed to greet me when i came back home;be it from tuition or school.and the funny thing is,i just love to disturb him.XD.each of my family members,too,fell in love with him without realising it.it aches my granny's heart whenever max fell sick and believe it or not,max was like granny's youngest grandson in our family.
i remember that evening vividly.it was a day before i'm supposed to return to university after my 1 week break.max just recover from fever and i didn't know why,i felt so special when i took max out for a walk.we sat in front of our balcony,staring at the passerby and the clear blue sky,with a soft pat at max's body.the feeling i felt at that time,somehow,words just can't explain it and i told myself,i'm gona do this more often with max on my next holidays.little did i know that there'll never be another time;for it was the last time.
i'll never forget the day dad told me max was very sick,the day when max was diagnosis with kidney failure and leukimia and the day he pass away.in a instance,all i wanted to do was to get home but boy,finals was around the corner at that time.i cried for 3 days straight,my tears go berserk.i resented god for snatching max away from me.i resented everyone for the things that happened.max was only 2 years old,not 12!
before i knew it,i started to hate the idea of going home.i didn't know why.perhaps it's because going home reminds me of max.i wasn't eager to go home during my semestar break.every corner of my house reminds me of max and it wreck my heart.
it's been 7 months since max leave me.i thought i got over with it already.little did i know,i didn't.i still refuse to look at max's picture,for fear that tears will rolled down my cheeks again.i'm still afraid to face the truth after all.
rookie is our new dog and dad adopted him shortly after max's death.i was against it but still dad went on with his plan.it's not like we get over max's death that fast,instead,we didn't want granny to feel so lonely.
to be frank,i still can't open my heart to rookie.perhaps,i was afraid of going through the same pain again.i love them enough to hate them.the the reason why i hate dogs is,losing them is just like losing a relative.it wreck your heart deep enough that you'll remember it for the rest of your life.
i hate them and yet on the same time i love them.just when will i stop running again?
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