it's the midst of holiday and instead of staying at home or go traveling,here i am-stuck in university for another 2 weeks before going break for christmas break.

looking back,it's funny how things can change so drastically in just a year time.i used to look forward to attend practises back then.but now?put it simple,i'm feeling dread when the thought of attending pratices ever cross my mind.and yet,i find it ironic as the thing that i dread of is actually the thing i love the most-making and learning music,that's is.

i thought about it long and hard.what is the main reasons for this sudden change?is the problems lies in me?who's at fault?who's to blame?

it sure took me quite a while to realise it but in the end,perhaps i'm the one that have change.the me now is not the girl back then when she just enter university not long ago.i find it hard to accept things that are totally contradict with my beliefs as well as act that was against the moral values i upheld.

putting that asidee,i was trying to avoid someone there (@_@).it wasn't obvious at first.well,not until my 21st birthday when he just suddenly gave me a super big teddy bear which is almost 5 inch tall as my birthday present which was more than enough to put me in a state of shock.i dismiss the possibility that my friends told me at first (according to them,a guy has the intention to court the girl when they actually gave a teddy bear to a girl) but over time,i do feel something is wrong somewhere and to be frank,it freak me out.

reason?that guy turns out to be my flute tutor ...... at jazz band. =________________=" almost like something that comes out in the blue.

well,i guess for now,i'll just leave it as it is.with so many killer songs to learn in such a short time,i don't really have any time o figure out those nonsense right?let's just hope things stay the way it is now-though i can't really stand a few people there.i just didn't want things to get anymore complicated-with all those dramas that surround me everyday.=.="

as for now,let's just hope i'll survive this 2 bloody weeks.