there's too many knots and i didn't know where i should start to untangled it.

or,should i said it's a mixture of feeling right now?i don't seem to be able to identify my feeling anymore.put it simple,i don't even know what i want.

the questions "do you like him?" "do you think he has a chance?" and "what do you feel about him?" send me in a state of shock.after all,these questions never cross my mind -in a state where i have to seriously consider bout it- before.

i would be lying if i said i never thought of giving him a chance.but,in a relationship,i do believe that 2 party should get to know each other well enough before they took it further to another stage.not just jumping in a conclusion for the sake just because you got rejected and made through disappointment a few times.

if only people know the real me and my real need.i need a guy that can make me feel safe and secure-not someone that's draining me both mentally and physically.
i need someone that's persistent enough and does not give up easily.
i need someone that know the boundary between personal and work matter.
i need someone that know how to give and take - i don't give and take easily.but if i do,i really meant it from deep in my heart and it gonna be in a very indirect way.
i need someone who are willing to spend time to know me well,just like i do-because i know well how complicated people can be since i am one of those complicated person.

i would be lying again if i said look doesn't matter.but,if that someone do sincerely love me the way i am, willing to spend time to know me well instead of forcing himself on me,i'm ready to accept that someone regardless of their look.after all,what i really need is someone that love me dearly.

to get me,you have to go extra miles to uncover my masks.patient and time are needed, with a promise that you'll get what you want in return.