who to blame??

as much as i wanted to put all the blame on the world,i still have to admit that at the end of the day,i'm supposed to blame myself, not someone else.

perhaps i didn't work hard enough

perhaps i should have spend more time on it

perhaps i was carried away

perhaps i took it for granted

perhaps......

perhaps......

all those hard work- sleepless night,time and effort spend,the frustration i had to bear and all those bitterness just go down the drain just like that.it makes me think-might as well as i just fool around,even i was subjected to this condition,i'm aware that i did not try hard enough.but,as for now,i feel like those effort are futile.hard work don't always paid off.or either,i'm not working hard enough.

for the time being,i just wanted to cry.and yet,i despise myself right now-i wanted to cry so badly but i can't find my tears.